I'm going nuts.

I really wonder what yiling is thinking. Help her, anyone?



<3

Rough draft

Physics practical today. oh my goodness, i can't seem to get past a single practical without having a heart attack. read the instructions wrongly and got the axes all wrong. slap me.
my results all sound wrong anyway. didnt want to hear about the results. but, thanks man. in the toilet, people have to discuss about it. okay, whatever.

Ask me about the aneroid barometer, the six's thermometer and the wet bulb thermometer, i can remember how it works like at the back of my hand.


To: My dearest
Don't change your impression because of these few incidents lah.
I mean, don't change your impression because of me?
You don't even want to listen to what I have to say. haha. You are tired of listening to all this rubbish, I know. And, seriously, you know i can't narrate things properly. What i tell you will be diluted like 50 times. anyhow, leave it? whatever it is, things are not that bad. Thou i dont know what to make out of it either. hm. -shrugs.

Moment of Truth

Here we are, in the best years of our lives.
With no way of knowing, when the
whee'll stop spinning cause we don't
know where we're going...
and here we are, on the best day of our lives.
And it's a go, lets make it last, so cheers you
all to that, 'cause this moment's never comin' back

I used to know her brother, but I never
knew I loved her, 'till the day she laid her
eyes on me. Now I'm jumpin' up and down,
she's the only one around, and she means
every little thing to me

I've got your picture in my wallet, and your
Phone number to call it, and I miss you more,
Whenever I think about you,. I've got
your mixed tape in my Walkman, been so
long since we've been talkin' and in a few
more days, we'll both hook up, forever and ever

And here I am, on the west coast of
American and I've been tryin' to think for weeks of
all the ways to ask you, And now
I've brought you to the place, Where I've
poured my heart out, a million times, for a million
reasons, To offer it to you
I used to know her brother, but I never
knew I loved her, 'till the day she laid her
eyes on me. Now I'm jumpin' up and down,
she's the only one around, and she means
every little thing to me

thanks to engeelooo this song is like stuck in my head, along with her retarded face singing it. :D

Thoughts

I like to feel the warmth of you nearby.
I like to hear your voice.
I like to see your smiles.

But deep down inside,
I know,
are things words can never represent.

You fall silent
Nobody notices,
I look at you.

I could imagine my hand reaching out,
touching yours
telling you everything's alright.

I could imagine my hand stretching,
touching lightly on your cheek,
telling you I'm here with you.

Stop, I tell myself.
Never,
let your imagination run wild.

For out of the world we find,
the friends and the lovers.
I'll choose the friends anytime.

I'll continue to listen,
I'll continue to comprehend;
The person standing in front of me,
falling silent once again.

Hypocrite

She;
Afraid of the people over her, unafraid of the people around her.
Her own stand, her own mind, she has.
Thoughts going through her mind, we do not know what.
Cursing, critisizing, all contained within the damn compound of her brain.
Understand? I don't.
So much she has to say, but unable to speak of them.
Going round and round in circles, a letter she writes.
She;
Controlled by the realm of astrology, horoscopes.
Her life, character, shaped after what astrology, horoscopes speak of her.
Understand? I don't.
Coincidence? I dare believe.
What I am, who I am, is not determined by what sun signs reveal.
Hypocrite;
I perceive my perception of her, from the things she do.
Look at her, she smiles at you.
Turn around, a mask she takes off.
What sprouts, cover you ears! I say.
I perceive my perception of you, from the things you do.
I daresay.

thoughts.
check
emotions.
check
distractions.
check

can i really keep them under control?
just for less than two months.

lost control on saturday night, at my friends and my mother.
sheesh.

i cannot let myself down.
GO YILING!

yay.

This borders on ridiculousness, and I don't know which side of the border this is on

The Life of a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD, Insignificant to You?

I seriously do not understand them, the people much older than me. So you think you are so much older, the seemingly important things that are happening in our lifes are easy for you to brush off as trivia matters?

Hello, so what if you've been there, done that, experienced it? SO WHAT? Have you missed out the very fact that we, SIXTEEN YEAR OLDS are going through these "trivia" things right now? Trivia to you yeah. I'm sorry, not-so-trivia to us. Since you've been there, done that, experienced it, shouldn't you people understand our needs better? Shouldn't you know what we are needing at this point of time? So, us sixteen year olds, our lifes are insignificant huh.

So much so, you people have to address our problems in such a matter-of-fact way. It gets on my nerves. For example, I get poor results, therefore I have to study hard. WHOEVER DOESN'T KNOW THAT FACT! It's not like we do not know how to think for ourselves either.

Are you sure such answers are what we really need? HELLO!?!?
Do you all have to do that to us everytime?
Is listening and showing interest to what we are saying that hard? At least pretend you are listening and enjoying it right? Is it that hard for you to listen? It's so sickening when you know that after saying so much, you people are just not listening. Or rather, not interested at all. So what are you trying to tell me? Oh so I should just shut up, is that so? Things that are happening in my life are important to me, couldn't you just take the effort to listen. It doesn't matter if you don't understand you know. But then again, since you've been there, done that, experienced it, these mundane things entering your ears are just unimportant huh?

Stop brushing off the things I say as things that does not matter at all. The thing is, it really does matter. Well, at least at this point of time.
Oh well, I'll take it as I'm talking to.. my panda soft toy. /:

Meaningless things

It has been 5 days since the end of prelims. Of course, have not been doing anything constructive of that matter. Yes, going to start work today. Got back my English and Amaths papers on Friday. B3 for English and A2 for amaths. Considering the fact that my English is always at a C grade, not bad, I would say. Well, at least I improved. Amaths. Cool man. You know, for the past terms since sec3, I've never passed Amaths before! A2! My mother was like guessing that night " B? C?" " nah, it's A2" She looked at me in disbelief. "Woah. I've been praying for you every night, didn't expect such a miracle to happen" miracle huh. She remembers very clearly my overall marks for term4 in sec3 was 28. Haha. Trust her to remember such things. aha. Well, at least she's happy (:

Hm. I really wonder why people enjoy indulging themselves in self-pity. What's the point? It kind of gets on my nerves sometimes. Patience, someone would remind me. Look around you, there are so much things that are worth being happy about. They don't have to be things of great significance. Things that makes you unhappy are just.. incalculable. Oh please, snap out of it. Self-pity just makes a person hard to educate, seriously. Their fixation on what's going wrong in their lives is like sandpaper on other people's brains - it's annoying. Especially since they never seem to listen when we point out what's right in their lives, and just how much the positive out-balances the negative. They don't want to acknowledge this because then they'd no longer have a reason to feel sorry for themselves. Makes sense? There are so many people who experiences the same thing you are going through. It's just how you respond to it, and learn from it. Yes? For crying out loud, look at the positive things in your life, look at your accomplishments! Or they don't seem to be accomplishments cause things just don't reach your expectations? Stop being unhappy, you know you have plenty of things that you can be happy about. If you choose not to see these things, it's just.. sad. I'm sorry but I just have no idea how to give you the pity and sympathy you want and not perpetuate your attitude. ayye. You know, the world will still continue being a beautiful place while you lock yourself up in your own dark corner.

Things in school have not been fantastic. Are they even the people I want to hold on to? Thinking about it, it's really.. meaningless..