Thursday, November 30, 2006

291106; The Final goodbye

First up, prom night would not have been possible without melissa and pearlyn. so.. many many thanks.
But still, I would not have regreted not going. It's so meaningless..
Walking in heels is tiring! and I spent half an hour trying to get in my contacts. haha.
hm. I can't remember anything else. except the disgusting chicken with so much garlic, and the delicious cheesecake.
and goodness, we paid 70 bucks for it?! it's so not worth it?
oh! everyone really looked so gorgeous! ahaha.

Myra, Pearlyn's friend really got me laughing. I was in their hotel room. All of us are almost ready to report at the convention hall, done with all our make up and hair-do blah. Myra looks into the mirror and says: "Oh my Goodness! I look like a transvestite!"
HAHAHAHA. Everyone agreed. My goodness. Have not laughed so hard for some time.

What will I remember of St Nicholas Girls' School?
The amazing vice principal; Mrs Goh
The wonderfuuul teachers; Ms Poore! Mr Gan! 王老师! Ms Tan Shu-wei! Mrs Brenda Tan! Mr Foo! Mrs Doris Tan!
The food; Orange bowl, Blue bowl, Toasts, Meatballs, Mushroom rice, etc.

AND OF COURSE,
THE FRIENDS.
Strange enough, the closest and bestest friends I've found over the years never came from my own class. I seemed to be detached from my classes since Sec1.

BAND. (:
The highlight of my Secondary School life. I'll never forget the times we slogged hard together. ah, SYF.
"Band No. 148, CHIJ St Nicholas Girls' School..."
We held each others hands, xinru was crying madlymadlymadly beside me. we held our breaths as we await the final deciding word..
"GOLD"
We screamed, we cried, we hugged each other tightly.
The MC had to say, " St Nicks, be careful not to topple over."
Even our seniors were happy for us.
No one, No one, except the bandits will ever understand the joy we shared.
Remember how our conductor walked out on us? The numerous self-pracs we went? The countless band practices we had to play till our limbs went weak?

AH. I'm getting really excited as I'm typing this.
SNSB, the love of my life.
Memories, I'll keep them dearly.

Xinru, ah. She is the person whom I've gone through hell lot with her. HELL LOADS. I can't think of another person who comes close to xinru. I'm so glad I know her. Learnt SO MUCH from her. I seriously don't know what will I have become without her. The thing I remember clearly, us standing across the table, eyes locked in each other's. SILENCE. The entire band staring at us. 正点! Our juniors were so frightened that they started crying. Recalling, how did we get through all those things?
Sec2, almost after school everyday we went shopping for POP presents. Spending a bomb. haha. XINRU! remember I spent SIXTY BUCKS on PAN? ah wells.
The good times were good, the bad times were.. REALLY BAD. Still, we managed to pull through. aha. xinru. (:

YES! my friends from ART CLASS. DAN and WANXIN.
hahaha. Oh how they had to bear with my non-stop complaints about art.
ta-da. Still, they never gave up on me. Mr Foo tooo. The trip to the zoo, and this funny creature jumped over my head and I ended up sitting on the ground. ha.

My tuition friends. How we always waited waited waited and waited for dear Mr Ho to come to teach us. haha. and janice and ru will start dancing right in the middle of the classroom. and janice and michelle will start singing at the top of their voices. jialun and lorraine, I still can hear their voices ringing in my head, talking about JCs. ah yes, and how Mr Ho will always say doing the arts is the worst thing ever. haha. wells. Mr Ho's the most tolerant teacher ever, I must say. Janice! rememeber curry puffs? haha.

Ah yes, one memorable time in Sec2, 2wisdom. wahaha. jialun! remember Lsquare? zixin, trouble? ru, banana? kahying, dinosaur? JIALUN! LING! I CAN'T REMEMBER YOURS!

Not forgetting dear old xiangli. Classmates for 4 years. We never really got close arh? She never fails to amaze me with her positive attitude and of course, her totally-kerazeee character. Sec1, she teased me non stop for the funny action I did in the begginning of the year. Sec2, how she went through my toughest time with me. Santha, remeber? That was totally hell. Even the discipline mistress had to meet my mother. ta-da. That was how screwed the entire incident was. Santha's big bulging eyes. grr. Xiangli ah, thanks for standing up for me. Sec3, sitting parts. (: Sec4, hm. We finally got about to giving each other birthday presents. :D

Lastly, MELISSA and PEARLYN, they are the bestest friends I've ever made in my 16 years of life. No words can describe how much I love you two. AHHHH. I love you two so much, I feel like hugging you two now. I really thank God for putting you two in my life. You two are just amazing amazing amazing. What can I say? No matter how horrible I was, you two didn't push me away. No matter how unreasonable I was, you two listened. No matter how crazy I was, you two laughed. No matter how whiney I was, you two put up with it. No matter how ungrateful I was, you two continued to care for me.
When I was lonely, you two have the amazing power to make me feel blessed again. pearlyn and melissa. :D
The endless sleepovers, mahjong, etcetc.
How we squeezed in a single bed, when melissa had not changed her bed. haha. our legs were beside melissa's face. How I sleep-talked, scolding you two while you two were playing monopoly. After which, walking up super early trying to wake you two up to play with me. We always sleep in this order, melissa at the edge, pearlyn in the middle and me, beside the wall.
Haha. My nose will never come back I know, it is always on my face.
You two gave me the best birthday ever this year. No matter how much 'thank yous' I say will ever express the gratitude within me. No matter how much 'I love yous' will ever express how much I treasure and love both of you. Both of you, I really love you alot alot.

I can't wait for JC. What lies ahead, I can't wait to find out.
To all my friends, thank you for all the memories throughout this four years! TOAST!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Time and time again the people closest to you, your family members, prove to you that you cannot depend on them.
Yet again, the world outside, your friends will too prove to you that you cannot depend on them as well. Or rather, there's a limit to it.
Stepping aside, looking at the whole big picture, once again you'll realise that it is you and you alone.

It's the me , myself and I that I've got. No one else.

Friday, November 24, 2006

I conclude that doing housework's worse than a 2.4km run.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Faith

I need a part time job! The month's ending, I'm screwed!

Choosing of JCs. Where?
So what if I have a beautiful CCA record? It's just so redundant now.
I should have realised early enough.
I hope belinda's right though.

Toys'R'us. Can someone buy me the beeeg and cuddly panda please?
Saw it at vivo city, I certainly looked like an idiot carrying it around the entire store.

Monday, November 20, 2006

The heart;

Look at what you've done, and now you're walking away.
Alone, I pick myself up.
Smiling, I face the world again.
It repeats over and over,
Again and again, I stand up once more.
When will all this cease?
I know the ending of each story too well, even before it ends.
I should have stayed away.
Why had I not?
I begin to wonder,
How can there be no inner vows made?

Studies, As, Bs, Cs, Ds, Es, Fs. I've got all of them.

charlyne wrote:
what is life, if everything depends on your academic.
i don't understand.
cause i seems like STUDIES is life and death.
if we don't do well for every test, we will NEVER be successful.
if we don't get into the EC class we will NEVER come out as a success.
then, how many people in the world will be succesful in life?

i doubt that.
but try telling that to my mum.
she never listens, but she think she does.
she always thinks that she is right, but she never knows that most of the time she is not.
how in the world can people like this be pleased?
please save me.
OH JESUS!

my mother sat beside the computer, telling me about all my cousins.
sciences, all i hear is about the sciences. sciences sciences sciences.
physics, bio, chmistry.
please, give me a break, it's not like you don't know i just simply don't like the sciences.
she said: i heard ppl who do the arts have very poor results.
i'm going to do the arts. geog, history, lit, whatever. just no sciences.
understood?!
are we ppl who dislike the sciences deemed as failures?
it seems so.
yeah, life seems like it's all about your academics. why so?
so what if im in st nicks? im sorry, i didnt do well. what do you want me to do?!
explaining to her just so doesn't work out. she doesn't listen, thou she claims she is. those adults, too caught up in their own world.
stop! can't you look at things from our point of view. i feel so suffocated trying so hard to live up to your expectations. whatever happened to my expectations of myself?
give me a break from all this.
MY O LEVELS JUST ENDED!

im not going to stay at home as much as i can. i will go nuts.
i need to be kept busy, to keep thinkings and thoughts OUT. they just drive me crazy. i was watching a COMEDY last night. and i started crying.
very good huh.
i'll make myself exhausted each day, so that when my head hits the pillow, i'll fall asleep immediately.

nat's party later. i'll reach home late again.
i hope i'll be exhausted by then.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Canon in D

The beginning.
It starts, note by note step by step. Unaware, of what the next note would be.
Taking a bolder step forward, it continues soft. piano.
It grows louder. crescendo. Things take form. I find myself walking towards uncertainty.
The climax, there you find, something more.
It grows softer. decrescendo. It's a down hill walk, returning to the start, where I came from.
It grows slow. Walking step by step, knowing I have to let go.
Thoughts, memories.
Things I want to hold on to but I have to let it fade away.
Then it comes the fullstop, the final chord.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

O level's over. It doesn't really sound exciting now.
History's so screwed. i was writing crap on the paper. Stalin killed the kulaks during the cold war? oh give me a break.

before cg started today, walked around wayne's estate with her. walked around aimlessly for an hour and a half. real good feeling. we walked on and on, talking, listening to each other and at times, silence. we even sang out loud. cover your ears! haha.
learnt that green bananas can be eaten.
can't wait to go to her house again. pearlyn, we shall self-invite again, yes? (:
finally talked to her about the person she doesn't want to hear about. she listened.
well, she understands. finally, someone does. it's enough.


pearlyn, melissa, i love :D

Thursday, November 16, 2006

YOU! it's so tiring trying to keep up with you. can't you slow down? you pretend you are listening, but you're not! you never listen. you never do.

What a day. i'm so glad it's ending soon. amaths and chem today.
i almost died trying to think and bearing with the pain at the same time. cramps. damn those cramps.
i just so hate the sciences. many nights, while studying chem or phy, those tears can just flow out, out of control.
rate of reaction, macromolecules? they just don't seem to register in my mind at all.
It is really at these point of times, you realise no one can help you, no one will be there for you. you've got to help yourself.
anyhow, history tomorrow. LAST ONE.

charlyne promises me a hug if she sees me tmr! aha. something to look forward to.

aha. some things, made me conclude, people are weird. really werid.
i dont comprehend them. it's a good thing they are weird thou. my 'worst enemy' do care for me. (:

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

DISTRACTED

JUST THREE MORE DAYS!
3full papers, 2 half papers.
FIVE SUBJECTS.
BLOODY HELL.

on the bright side, after three more days,
THE END! (:

The truth

the handwriting analysis is amazing. trust me to be doing this at this weird time.
really had to laugh at mine. some of them are true. it's so weird to see them penned down in words thou. aha. whatever.

JINGLIANG! LOOK AT THIS:
Yi Ling is not facing something going on in her life today. She is deceiving herself about it. Often, Yi Ling's opinion of herself is different than those around her. This trait gives Yi Ling the ability to deny anything that does not agree with her "truth." This trait is not always something negative. It is only a defense mechanism allowing Yi Ling not to face some reality in her life at this time.

hahaha. you know what i mean :D

handwritingwizard.com

Sunday, November 12, 2006

The door, the knob, the key

No matter how hard i tried, i still can't go in. Why do i want to go in? I really do wonder. Maybe what lies beyond intrigued me so much that there is an urgent need to get in. Will i ever get to go in? I shouldn't even bother, since i don't have the key to that damn door, yes? But listen, I want to go in. I want to know what lies behind that door. I shall just break the stupid knob. But then again, will there be someone inside forcing the door shut, so that i can't get in. Or.. am i using the wrong key? Why is it so hard for me to get in? Why do i even bother? Freakin doors, barriers! Get out of my way! Don't even dare tell me to stop trying. Oh well, i'll die from fatigue one day.