jaded

I am weak but learning to be strong.
I smile, as if nothing is wrong.

I need freedom.
The freedom to express my feelings, the freedom to love.
I need courage.
The courage to confront, the courage to let go, the courage to lose.
I need faith.
The faith in the Lord that everything will be alright, because there's Him.

I am afraid.
To lose the thing that I fought so hard for.

Now now, tell me what should I do?

Emptiness, loneliness..

I really, really really really want to run away.

Service today, no matter how hard I sang.. nothing.

Me: Last time there used to be Willard around to take bus with us.
Jian Hao: Eugene too.
Me: Yeah, next time it'll be you alone.
Jian Hao: It might be you alone too.
To each other: OK. It won't happen.

Mid years in a week's time.
I am freakin screwed.
Tell me about economies of scale. Gosh.

I'm left with uhm, $1.58 in my bank account.
Sheesh.

Pohchoo, I want to hug you.

Sigh.
I surrender.