jaded

Hey my friends, I will be there whenever you need me. No matter how uncomfortable they make you feel.. I am still there, with you. I want to be there for you. Yes. Don't give up on them too.

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Talk about being tired. Friday was the ultimate.
Mass pe in the morning. Ran 2.7km, did 60 push-ups("there is only one kind of push-ups, no girls push-ups!", the teacher yelled.), and I lost count of the crunches, sit-ups and jumping jacks. Thank goodness no burpies.
"Are you ready?" "Ever ready!"
"How are you feeling?" "Wonderful!"
"How many more?" "Many many more!"
The teacher made us shout that in unison, so many times. It sounds really funny thou, with all of us sounding like we're going to die any moment. Can't wait for cross country! Almost the entire class signed up for competitive running! which is 4km for girls or something and 5.2km for guys!
Canoe training! MacRitchie. Ran 5.2km. It really amuses me when we girls do pull-ups. hahahah. 2 others will hold us by our legs and push us up. Really felt like we were flying up and down while the guys were pulling with all their might. Hahaha.
Everyone got a chance to have a go at the canoe. We girls didn't capsize! It was really fun. Can't wait to do my one-star! That's if I got the chance. ahaha.
Was seriously drained of all my energy. Went for cell group. My eyes were half close. Couldn't think properly. My brain felt like it had stopped functioning.
Finally got home after like one million hours. I still remember vividly, my mother talking to me and I had to summon all my remaining strength to answer her. The feeling was so.. horrible. I really can't really remember what happened next. I found myself in my bed when I woke up at like 4am. My hp's still in my hand. I guess I sleep walked to my bed.
Talk about being tired.

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She should seriously stop talking. She feels like she's losing herself. Does she matter to anyone?, she questioned herself. Did she keep trying to get into other people's lives, as if she was destined to be there? When reality sinks in, leaving behind, the cold hard truth. Not once but many a times, feeling all so alone. People leaving one by one, leaving her all alone. Logical reasonings, they do well. But sometimes, all she needs is the warmth and comfort the heart yearns for. How can she be a better person? Holding onto things once was, but never ever the same again. She cannot deny the thoughts going through her head, can she? By faith, she will step out of the person she had been, and remember the person she was meant to be. To the world, you may be just one person; but to her, you may be the world. Perhaps people have given the best of their hearts uncritically, to those who hardly think of them in return. She, does she matter to anyone? Can she hold on to those who matter to her? Can she? She agrees with her friend. The two saddest words are, "what if". Can she depend on him? Is it allowed? Can she hold his hand when she's tired? Can she? Will he be there when the world walks out on her? She's sick and tired of trying to get into other people's lives. It is always at these point of times she decides that there is no one, no one, worth her attention. She becomes self centered, rebellious, selfish, uncaring. Who will, who will love her, accept her the way she is. Admist the hustle and bustle of life, pay attention to her, lead her on. Look beyond what she's saying. Pay attention to what she did not say. Facade, facade. In the end, she will be alright. She always will be.