Friends

I really question myself: friends, what are friends? Who are your friends?
to begin with, I never believed in the typical " friends forever" statement ppl make to each other since we were primary school. ah well. Friends. We cant deny the fact that we need them.

friends, one thing I'm sure about. I have to be comfortable around them. No, uncertainties discomfort should never exist. Come to think of it, the number of friends IM really comfortable with are few.

It really irritates me to know how people tend to be so hypocritical. It's fine to not like someone. It's fine to just avoid her. It is NOT fine by me when one moment in front of her, you are on good terms with her. Behind her back, goodness. nonono. That's just how it's supposed to be. You don't have to be blunt to be straightforward you know. To a certain extend, yes, it's hurting. It's going to hurt worse if she finds out that people have been so hypocritical after SO long. Two years. That's how long it is. Did the notion of me wanting to be part of a 'clique' cross my mind? It sure did. But time and time again, I found it so tiring to try to 'fit in' all the time. I cant breathe properly. And I know I'll never be a part of it. Yeah, I may be pin pointing at a certain event in my life right now. No I cant trust these ppl. If they are able to treat a person in such a manner, how sure can I be that they wont do that to me? As much as I need them, I guess it may just be a friendship of convenience. Crudely put, yes. I don't have a sense of security being with these ppl. I look around me, there are more people. I don't have to depend on any one group of ppl. No I never want to be.

Yet again, there are friends that never fail to amaze me. They are always there for you. Yeah, you may not 'belong' to them just reach out, they will take you by the hand and lead you on. If you fall, they will pick you up and make sure you're alright. You know they are always there for you. Good times and bad times. With complete openness, you allow these friends to search you, to know you more. Me myself, wanting to love them more and more. To give unconditionally. THIS is what a friendship should be.
Well, some people will just pass you by, some leaving behind a memory, some.. Staying by your side? This I've yet to find out.