Saturday, December 30, 2006

She didn't mean to bring it upon herself.
She really didn't mean to.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Hearing those words, the heart ached even more.
One blow after another, collapsing on the sofa, unable to move.
The fingertips were numb, could not feel the toes.
Holding onto the cold hard object, the heart robbed of the warmth that gave it life.
Excruciating pain from the heart spreading through the veins.
So cold.
Blurry vision, almost stopped breathing.
Lying on the bed, tears, out of control, dampening the bedsheet.
Alone, feeling so alone.
Fell asleep, knowing the heart will be stronger than before.

A mistake from the beginning, the voice said.
Things were never meant to be, the voice whispered.
Sewing the heart shut, never ever again, the voice vowed.
The pain, supressed by inner vows made to protect the heart.

Cold, feeling so alone.
Hugging it tighter to feel warmth.
Never ever again.. the voice reminded..
And you don't even know how it hurts.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

again.
ouch.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

no.
let it be.
i can live with it.
what can i do?
hope for the extraordinary?

nah, get a life, yiling.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Unattainability

buay ta han!
my head feels so heavy. i need to sleep but i cant! housework.
!!!!!!
no improvement in the situation thou my sister came back from camp eh.
instead, she bickers with me.

"can you please help tidy? the house looks like a pig sty."
"why should i. i didn't mess it up."
-standing ovation.
excuse me?!
she doesn't live in the house huh!
fancy saying such things.
sickening attitude.

let me reiterate, i am so not going to be a housewife.
the laundry's piling up agn.
hello!
when will it stop?!

okay, enough about housework.
CHRISTMAS! :D
went for 4 services!
the play's really good!
never ceased to laugh at the scene where the canto, jap and indian man meets king herold.
wahahha.
countdown to christmas at yulin's house!
hahahahahaha! FUN!
TABOOOOOO! (:
yap pow wee was reaaal funny.
hahaha. that bloke.
"ching ching!"
heh.
reached home at 245, slept at 3.
woke up at 630, to queue.
haha. while getting to the section before entering the hall, my slippers came off. not funny.
talking about slippers, i've had enough of heels for quite awhile.
-looks at nat. ha.
ah well.

one week of hols left.
and im still not working.
oh well.

eh eh.
you you you!
yay.
hehe. (:

Feliz Navidad
Prospero Ano y Felicidad
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart (:

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Do you hear what I hear?

I wonder how's my mother doing in myanmar. hmhm.
Thanks to her and my sister, i've to do ALL the housework, except cooking.
I'm so tired.
Now i know how my mother feels each time we mess up the house.
And the LAUNDRY. It seriously drives me crazy. and look at the weather! how the hell are the clothes gna dry?!
my father! gosh. talk about undergarments. ewww!
Call me a woman.
I'll NEVER be a housewife.
goodness gracious.
If i continue doing this everyday, i'll lose 10kg(i hope)
vaccuumed the entire house. the dust makes me go mad. my nose! if you know what i mean.
I almost went crazy seeing the kitchen so freakin oily after my sister cooked. i had to mop the entire house.
at least what she cooked's nice. OILY, yes.
i cant wait for my mother and sister to come back!
goodness.

i did sth very stupid.
why did i let her influence me?!
never mind, i wont make the same mistake again.
melissa reprimanded me. :(
way to go!

All I want for Christmas
is my two front teeth,
my two front teeth,
see my two front teeth!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

All I want for christmas

Disaster;
XINRU!
you know what was my audition piece?!
WASHINGTON POST.
damn it.
and you know what,
I COULDNT PLAY AT ALL.
AT ALL.
the entire first line, i couldnt play.
you know what i mean when i cant play.
i forgot all my fingerings! Dflat, Csharp.
bloody hell.
xinruuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's WASHINGTON POST!!!!!
the first song we learnt in sec1!!!!!!!!
AHHH!

okay, forget it.
it's over.
saw janice too. two of us there for audition
the pres said janice's good.
ayye.
lionel and jael brought us around the school on sat.
the track looks funny.
and this staircase where ppl do WRONG stuff.
haah.
retarded.

how did i spend my day today?
slept till 12, went online till two, slept till 6.
and am online until now.
my brain feels werid now..

A JOKE ACCORDING TO YUANRONG:
1 nite
lionel was sleeping in his room
wif the aircon on
den wayne went into the room
pulled down his blanket
on the light
THE LAST PART
IS THE FUNNY PART¥
alrite den aft that
lionel pushed wayne out of his room
den he realized"ahh gor gor took the remote control
for the air con
so he went down and knocked on wayne's door
den wayne keep saying
give me ice cream first
so aft 15 mins lionel decided to take ice cream for wayne
den when he went into the kitchen
THE REMOTE CONTROL WAS INSIDE

haha.
that's our dear cell group leader, wayne and his brother for you.
yuanrong told yeeli and i to entertain us, and well, himself.
funny arh.

my mother's leaving for a mission trip in myanmar (is that how you spell the place?) for 10 days
haha. and my second sister's going for a camp. for five days
i can imagine the house becoming a pig sty
hmhm.
sat's nearing!
haah. dont get me wrong, it's christmas service!
dan, mieoteng, and prob zob and her friends are coming.
coolness.

there, my beautiful prince from france

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Help me, Lord, to place my worries
At your feet in prayer,
Then to trust Your love and goodness
As I leave them there.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

one by one, they slip away

i'm backk. from msia, KL.
i must say this's the best holiday i ever had.
not that it's fantastic. but as compared to the previous few trips i had, this's not bad.
went with a family from my old church(orchard presbyterian).

come to think of it, i kind of miss the place.
after all, i've been there since i was a baby.
my friends there have alr re-dedicated.
me?
just starting out on a new journey.
have i made the right choice?
i really wonder.
yes yes, i know i know, i shouldn't be thinking like that alr.

no matter what, i really do miss the happenings there.
i was part of them.
no matter how you deny it, i was part of them.
i don't feel the same way now, at this new place.
i don't, i really don't.
there's just this something missing.

every sunday, without fail 1030, we'll have to leave the house for sunday school.
we'll be seated according to out age.
this group of us, we've been tgt since our mothers brought us into 幼儿班.
even if we didn't talk, we've been seeing each other for most of our lives.
praise and worship starts.
then mundane sunday school classes.
joyce and sharon, we'll never fail to make the classes interesting.
5 minutes before lessons end, we'll be looking at our watches, ready to rush down to the canteen to get our 2 dollars packet of food.
off for choir practice!
uncle peter and aunty mary (:
and then, 团契!
sec1 and 2! went crazy over this guy. the things i do.
joyce and sharon will tell you how stupid i was.
well, they joined in too. hahaha.
every year, there'll be caroling!
there's this one year, we went to the house of this manager of a bank.
coolness. the house's just HUGE. with 5 sitting rooms, blah. and that's just the first floor.
our pastors wear robes, and us choir ppl, have our 'robes' too.
ah yes, i miss wearing it! and we'll all help each other zip up the loong zip at the back.

i miss my friends.
aha. which reminds me, high time i should go back to visit.
who knows. i might just end up staying there.
then again, i can't deny the fact that i grow more spritually in my new place.
but.. like what someone said.. "i'm sick of putting on a mask and pretending i'm really happy."
i'd once thought the place is simple, ppl full of love for one another.
but no. it's not like that.
it's, complicated.
i don't want to go into that world.
it's, sickening.
i don't like it.
it's all over, once again like the way the band is constructed.
politics? is it this word?
at least i've 3 ppl whom i can trust in there.
well, they made the place more bearable.
but.. it's not the ppl i'm going there for!
why should i be living up to their expectations?
why?
WHY?
seriously, i feel fake sometimes.
how to be true to yourself and live up to you ppl's expectations at the same time?!
both are going in different directions!
damn.
anyone understand what i'm trying to say?
the entire purpose in doing all these things are getting so damn wrong.
so very wrong.
oh heck.
close an eye, i shall.

ah yes.
my KL trip.
guess whose family i went with?
the guy i crushed in sec1.
haha.
looking at him now, i wonder what got over me.
i finally talked to him, normally, with eye contact after like 2-3 years.
nice smile, he has.
nice to talk to too.
aha. had fun there la.
sunway lagoon, the water park, went on to these 2 rides like so many times. and stood under the bucket screaming waiting for the water to land on you.
got closer to my sisters too.
ahha.
wonder when will i get to talk to him again.

ayye. yes. one by one, they slip away.
looking back, a joke, it would all be.
just let it be, let it fade away.
yeah, that's what i'm doing.
there's simply nothing i can expect out of it. yes?
sigh.
dear you.
what's wrong with me?
hm.
good question.

forget it, go to sleep, yiling.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

I'm contradicting myself.
Damn it.
I'm freaking irritated.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Come on, slap me.
xinru, melissa, you're allowed to slap me.
I can't stand it anymore.
Never mind, I'll have time to think over it.
IRRITATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MELISSA LIM! CAN YOU HURRY UP COME BACK AT YELL AT ME?!

my 2 sisters are being very retarded getting all excited over SUPERSTAR.
like, hello?!
the youngest one is dancing in front of the tv while the other one is screaming at her to get lost.

ARGH. DAMN IT.
YES OR NO?!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Things no more

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

you;
w the piece of sky i see in your eyes,
the colour of sunlight in your smile
& the simplicity of your perfection,
you make me love loving again (:

/ when times're hard n you feel down..
noe il be dere. il be ard. if you need smone..
jus knock on mie door. den mayb you wun feel sad anymre (:
-hugsyou.

+if uve spent too many nites on ur own.
wan a hand to hold
keep ur eyes to e sky..
cos il always be nearby
pull you thru e pain
n keep you frm e rain. love! (:

+ whtevr you do, always believe in urself..
bt evn if you dun, il be here to believe in you,
for you n w you..
-huggs- (: smile!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

yada.
my throat's hurting and it itches.
yes? no? yes. no.
oh whatever. it doesn't matter.
i have to leave the house now.
but nobody's at home! i want to stay at home!
i want that.
but no, i can't have it. too bad.
hello, look here.
oh i forgot, you've only got a pair of eyes.
tada.
but it isn't fixed anywhere.

melissa's flying, 4th.
yiling's leaving, 9th.
oh shit! melissa! nat how?
ohyes, dear xinru. you better do it, or i'll kill you.
mr ho, 11th. two weeks.
wah. what if i die of stress in spore. no one to keep me calm.
duh, i'll survive.
with yet-to-meet new friend, ms black&white. wahahaha.
ERPS.

I NEED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE!
sorry people, late.
poof.