stereotyped

Lauren demands I write another post on her so that she does not sound that much of an airhead.
Alright, so she can be Mrs Intellectual and stop trying to confuse me with her bombastic language.
Sorry if it's not really working eh, heh.
Once again she comes up with her own analysis on a new topic, lit students and about them being stereotyped.
Sorry, catch no ball! Haha.
:D

Hm, Melody's sick at home with eye infection.
I miss the girl.
Life will be so mundane without her if she successfully gets into Rj.
Ayye.

Long day today, I need some sleep.

birds

Haha, before I exhaust myself out again, I better get some sleep.
Had a break last thursday and friday.
Stayed at home and slept 12 hours straight.
Father went down to the clinic and scolded my poor doctor for giving me too long a MC.
Ayye, anyhow.
Feel more enrgetic now.
Almost every week, someone will ask me why am I so busy.
And that I should quit my work.
Haha, I'm repeating myself over and over again until I'm making no sense to myself.
Xinru and Shengkai had a hard time trying to find time to do the econs project, ayye, sorry.
And finally Monday afternoon.

Monday afternoon, spent it at Xinru's doing econs project.
Bloody 4hours, and produced a THREE minutes movie clip.
5 more minutes to go.
Xinru's hilarious, seriously.
It's funny how we entertained each other while dying of boredom doing the project.
Cutting circles, right.

And then down to Park Mall for dinner with the cell.
Sharon's leaving Singapore again, so soon.
Hm.

Dear Lauren made the headlines again.
She was shrieking in the canteen and guess what it is all about.

: YILING! GET THOSE BIRDS AWAY!!
: Why? They are fine.
: NO! I HATE BIRDS!
: And why?
: BECAUSE THEY CHIRP!

LAUREN!!

realization

It hit me during service.
Remained stagnated for too long.
Time to change.

lauren

Haha, Lauren being Lauren.
Her trying so hard to analyse a certain person totally made me laughed my ass off.
Yeah, I'm the man!
Haha.

: I'm gonna read his blog now, Mr Intellectual.
: Go on.

1 minute later,

: He's darn freakin, I don't know!
: I seldom find myself at a loss of words!
: SO Wentworth miller.
: ?

Failed attepmt to get her point across.
Fancy using a character from prison break to explain something.

: He makes the simplest things sound so complex,
: If I needed 2 words to describe him, it'll DEF be intense and complex
: Why intense?
: I can't explain, it just strikes you.
: OKAY.

Continues exchanging lame comments, and
to me she says,

: Gosh, you sound like you're married, really.

LAUREN!!

grossed out

I totally shouldn't have looked through my email.
I'm freaking grossed out by myself.
YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK!
How can I email him those kind of things?!
YUCK!
YILING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHATS WRONG WITH YOU!

Maybe I was brain fried at that time too.
Oh yuck.

yes and amen

Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone to fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

(Whitney Houston - Greatest Love Of All)




Anyway, I'm brain fried.
Waited for one and a half hours for the doctor.
Apparently, he gave me MC for 2 days.
Of course I'm happy.
My mother made a big fuss out of it.
Hehe, who cares.
Okay, my throat hurt.

pictures

my sitting part :D
What the! Mark!
Let me sleeeep, please!
Chen lao shi :\
woots! (:

Haha. Got this off Xinru's blog.
Look at Mark! Goodness!
Chen lao, I hate her lessons!
And now Melody and I have detention because of our lousy attitude towards her.
Haha. Anyhow, I want to pinch Xinya's cheeks!
:D

the best thing i've found

I love! I love! I love!
Sudden desire to proclaim this.

Pearlyn! Melissa! Nat! Xinru!
You all know me better than anyone else yo.
Thank you for.. never giving up on me all these years!

Shirleen! Melody! Joanna! Penelope! Lauren! Randall! Xinya! Xinru! Mark! Nat!
(and everyone else in 1T05)
It's amazing to know you people!
Aww.

Esther Debra Leong!
I love talking to you girl.

I lub you all lots lots. (:

the sound of your name

I miss vday in stnicks, the overflowing desks with flowers and chocolates.
I remember we hardly had space to even put our books for lessons.
The teacher will force us to pack up our presents, but in vain.
Everyone will be running around to give out our presents, and of course, free hugs for everyone.
The atmosphere was overwhelming, and hard to forget.
I miss, I miss.

Spent vday stoning in band, looking at the clock tick by.
Valerie could have killed me each time I announced the remaining time left to the end of band.
She's too nice, yes. (:
Band ended at 7, goodness.
Intended to go home, but somehow ended up at Hagen Daz. :D
I love that place I tell you. I love the people, I love the ice cream. (though Island Creamery's better)
Fancy going back to visit on VDAY, when everyone did not even have time to breathe.
I ended up helping out in my stnicks-cj uniform, free labour.
Heard people whispering my school, CJ.
There were a bunch of newbies there, only 2 senior members.
They almost went nuts. Water spilled, sugar syrup all over.
I don't remember me being so clumsy. (Haha, no offense)
Cabbed home with Don, Yihui and Ella at an unearthly hour of 12am.
Yes, I really love working there. Please don't make me quit.

The less influence you have over me, the better.
Just let everything fade away, and soon enough I won't even speak of your name.
And then everything about you won't matter anymore.
Do you even care?

AIYOH. Emo, emo.
Lit lecture next.

first day of the week

Finally met up with Melissa and Pearlyn! :D
Towned abit and bought my pair of Vans and Pearlyn, her Palms.
Pearlyn insisted on talking about our future.
So we sat at Secret Recipe for the next hour or so. We'd somehow end up talking about our schools.
Melissa has her future planned our for her, secure, in a sense.
Pearlyn knows exactly what she wants to pursue in.
And me, have no inkling what I'm going to be in future, not even what I'm supposedly interested in. How bleak.

Okay, my head is so heavy I can't even think properly.
Sleep sleep.

recount

So we got back our results! Everybody did so well!
I'm fine with my results though. I'm probably staying in CJ, the junior college Mr Wayne deemed as "Not Good". Whatever.
TanJingliang did 6 points! Woohoo! So proud of her man! (:

Before collecting our results, 1T05 went to Island creamery! (:
Both 1T05 and Island creamery rocks!
Mark says my face is going to expand at the rate I'm eating ice cream. Haha.

The class slacked the morning away. Played turth or dare.
And Floyd ate up the paper, Lauren laid in the middle of the quadrangle shouting "I'm dying!, Jasmine licked the table, Sk licked Jasmine's ear! (Ear! Goodness!), Ian proposed to the teacher, Xinru walked around with the dustbin cover on her head.. blah blah.
And wth, fancy talking about your sexual fantasy. Retarded.
Overall, it's really funny. Haha.

I'll miss 1T05! We'll probably end up in different classes with our different subject combinations! Ayye.

After results went to town with Belinda, Claire and Karina! I missed them so much yo.

Then off to work. There's this really cute little boy who came in with his grandparents.
He's only 5 or so. He ordered his ice cream, all of them the sorbets. Sour.
After getting his ice cream, he looked at me and said "hen3 suan1".
The grandparents started laughing. Haha.

After which, off to Ian's house. Actually spent the entire time around the neighbourhood instead of his house. Randall was doing totally lame shit stuff. I couldn't stop laughing.
We ate at coffee bean, and he got this really hard carrot cake. I ate my cheesecake real slowly he almost couldn't stand it.
And we walked around aimlessly and plucked off otter's heads, saying hi to some random aunty, sat at bus stops stoning an hour each time, then at a playground.. blah. Back at Ian's house at, everyone was inside Ian's room.
So we slept in the living room and Mark was breathing so loudly I could have stuffed tissue paper up his nose. I got so many bloody mosquito bites! And Randall slept on the floor.
And at 6am decided to go home.

Showed my father my results and he totally insulted me. Boo.
I'm satisfied with my results, Sir.
Stop telling me I'm a total failure cause I only got 4As and 5Bs. (Not as many As as he had)
And he freakin thinks that B is a FAIL. HELLO!?
And stop stop stop stop STOP telling me I've got no future.
And he totally told me that I wasted my As on useless subjects.
I'm proud of my As AND Bs, Mister.
"So, getting such disgusting results, will you be staying in your school?" Excuse me?
What the heck, fancy your own father telling you all of this.
So what am I supposed to do? Wallow in sorrow?
No, hell no.
I can't be bothered and I will NOT let anyone make me sad.
So this is where my rebellious streak comes in handy.

Slept until 230pm and off to church. Late.
Finally went for fellowship after like weeks. Fellowship felt so weird without Pohchoo, Sebas, Melissa, Xinru, Elaine and the rest!
At least Junsen and Esther totally talked the shit out of me. Lionel's still around too! Always talking about CJ and all.
Mr Wayne says I've got a "stiff neck". Okay.
I know that, but I can't help it yo.

Anyhow, to work again! [:
That about sums up Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

worth the wait

Results out tomorrow! Which means no more chinese lessons! Melody and I ponned chi lesson today. It's 2 hours looking at the irritating teacher. I couldn't very much bear it, sorry. Next she will be telling us we are reatards again. Like what the heck. Don't care about her. Off to island cremary. (: The ice creams are half the price and even better than hagen daz's! Working at Hagen daz tomorrow! Cheers!

It will fade away soon enough I suppose. What am I hoping for? It's impossible? I'll remove you from my consciousness, slowly. You won't matter anymore, after some time, I guess. I don't need you to survive anyway. Are you worth the wait? Oho. WHATEVER.

/Though I couldn't and shouldn't, I walked a path towards you, a mistake I have fallen deeply into.

scream

How do I emphasize the point that, I am tired? Physically, emotionally, spritually. I don't want to freakin care about anything at all. Can I? I lost my cool today over the phone. The worst part is, I was in school, in the bloody canteen, sitting alone at the table and I started yelling into the phone and started crying. Cheers. And my friends came over with tissue.

What the hell do all of you want me to do? I only got 24 hours a day to spare. And I need to do so MUCH things. This and that and this and that. Spare me! It's not very fun at all to reach home so late every single day, and there will the mother waiting to sing into my ear. I'm going bersek. And one fine day I reach home at 6 thinking, like finally I am home early. Only to realise after stoning for 5 minutes on the sofa that I have something to attend. Goodness. I'm feeling so tried everyday. Everything I do becomes so meaningless and I don't know why the hell am I doing all of this. This is really damn shit.

Yes, and I just realised that it is not that I'm afraid of Wayne, my leader. It's just that I'm afraid of the things he is going to tell me and want me to do.

Anyway, that's besides the point. I should be sleeping now instead of sitting in front of the computer typing all of this rubbish. I'm only venting my frustrations.

Never mind, at least 1T05 still makes my day everyday and I really enjoy working at hagen daz. Which reminds me! On monday! The manager told me I can learn to scoop ice creams. Coolness. It's super hilarious I tell you. The customer came in and ordered Macademia nut and Vanilla. And Don tells me to "slowly scoop". Thus, I began on the very difficult task to scoop Macademia nut ice cream. That ice cream is like a rock I tell you! Strawberry too! Never ever order that if you have a conscience. 10 minutes later, I'm still scooping Mac nut. The customer comes over and said, "Is there something wrong with my ice cream?" I almost wanted to laugh, seriously. I just looked at him and said sorry, please hold on. My right arm has muscle aches all over. I can't wait to go back to work.

Today's terrible! I woke up to find my left neck all stiff. I can't turn my head to the left at all. While talking to my friends, I had to like move my entire body to face them. And I had to run with the stiff neck! Haha. Ah well, it'll go away soon.

Okay, off to bed. No matter what, I'll still hold on. I'm finding back my first love, and of course, live out loud. Haha. I'll be alright. What a quick change in attitude eh. Ah well. Everything will be alright! (:


Live out loud

i am blessed

LOVE LOVE! :D

I am the master of my unspoken words and the slave to those which should have remained unsaid.

I look at you and wonder, what it had been all about. What is there to hold on to?

You are simply, unreachable, untouchable.

Learning things the hard way.

Now I truely understand the meaning of "Let go, and let God".

And there she stands strong. (:

no, no one has the right to

No one has the right to hurt me, no one. I detest the feeling of helplessness. Because it makes me weak. I detest having the desire of wanting someone to be there for me. Because there will be no one, no one. I stand strong. Because I have Yiling with me, and of course, God. There is no need to depend on anyone else. Yes.

And I will be alright, I always will be.
Because I am not alone.(Yes, I'm finally admitting this)

slacker

Very good. I'm skipping this very boring Chinese lecture. It's a presentation on their expereince in China. And here I am in the library. Hooray, finally some internet access.

Recently, I've been entertaining the notion of skipping school. Ponning, as some may call it. Just because of BAND. Band. Freak. I don't see the point in blowing with all my might, making my lips expand like sausages. I don't see the point in sitting at the seat, listening to the conductor throw sacarstic remarks at the tuba section. I don't see the point in doing breathing exercises that make me giddy. I don't see the point in going for band! Especially when I can't contribute to the band in any way, since my attitude sucks like nobody's business. Band.

Someone tell me the difference between "can't" and "shouldn't". I woke up at 430 this morning thinking about it. I would very much like to live in the hope then knowing it's simply impossible. As Shirleen puts it, "Silently", till time do the job.

Ta-da. I'm alive and kicking.