damnation

What the hell is wrong with people nowadays? Must there ill intentions behind every action? What do you want me to do? Explain to you what I really meant and that your judgement is wrong? Sorry, I've no energy to.

Band. I hate band. The thought of it makes me puke. I miss SNSB. I really don't understand those people who wants to join the CJC band. The conductor is one million times worse than Ms Sia. I feel totally away from the band. I don't feel part of the band. I want to go back to CANOE! Can you just let me go!!!!!! Whenever I'm in band, I've got this constipated feeling, pressing down on me, it feels like as if I can't breathe. I look at the notes, I just simply feel drained to play anything at all. I felt like escaping. I'm caught up in a cage.
Wednesday, band practice. I went. I freaking don't care how well I play the damn instrument anymore. I don't care. I don't care if the tuba section is the worst section ever. I don't care. I DON'T CARE!
During combined, I thought of what I could have been doing with my canoe friends, training, pushing each other on. Persevering. I started to tear. I know, I have to persevere in band too. I feel so alone there. Look at all the band enthusiasts blowing with all their might. I was one of them in SNSB. Things are so different.
And well, the damn conductor humiliated me in front of the whole band. He even asked me to keep my innocence and not to be so deceiving. Crazy moron. I smiply just stared at him. I had the good mind to stand up and leave. Since I'm so freaking useless, LET ME GO! LET ME GO!!
AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Pe! We went up and down the grandstand 20 times! Insanity. We girls will have thunder thighs soon. :( After which, 2 rounds round the track. Half way through, leg cramp! Again! I grabbed my calf and sat on the track. Thank goodness ian and the pe teacher helped me stretch my calf. It sucks having leg cramps! The teacher asked me to drink a glass of water with salt every night before I sleep. Hm.

Well, on a better note, at least I really really really love my class, 1T05. Haha. I've not laughed so much since primary school. Hahaha. Balls, Century eggs. Goodness! Ha. All of you people just make my day, everyday. (: